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The “No Meat, No Liquor” Restaurant

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So, you’re planning on going on a date with a vegan girl you like; she also doesn’t drink at all, so you don’t quite know where to take her. Well, worry not, for I have a restaurant for you!

Meat Liquor!

No, don’t worry about the name; it’s just deep in irony kind of thing; much like the outside of the restaurant, where you can’t even read the sign of the restaurant properly unless you squint your eyes.

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Just have a look at their web site. They say “No Meat. No Liquor”, they also specifically mention that “We are a restaurant” which is always good to know about a place if you are planning on going there to eat.

And that is pretty much the only thing they say on their web site, it’s not like you might want to look at the menu beforehand.

They do mention that you can’t make reservations, so you might want to go early to make sure you get a seat. We got there at six o’clock on a Saturday and there was no queue, mind you, there was a queue by the time we left, so don’t plan on going there at eight.

Once you get inside, it’s of course very dimly lit, so it is very romantic.

The atmosphere is created with very subdued and harmonious decorations, such as wolf-men, pigs with cleavers and unnerving owl-people who watch you eat. Oh and there might be drawn boob on the wall, but no, I won’t show it here; this is a family oriented blog…

Alright… Fine, I couldn’t get a good photo of it…

But it’s part of the irony thing. She’ll understand when she has a look at the menu.

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The salads and stuff are under the heading “rabbit food”.

And if she’s feeling adventurous, there is the dead hippie burger, which comes with a special secret dead hippie sauce and two beef patties. I am still quit curious what they’ve made that sauce out off…

And I’m pretty sure they have non-alcoholic cocktails also, mind you, I was drinking the house drink, which was called house umm something. What I do remember is that it’s made of dark rum, light rum and overproof rum; I’m also pretty sure that there was some juice in it, but I am bit hazy on that detail.

But for some reason, they allow you to only order two of the bloody things.

I can’t figure out why.

But yes, it’s all very minimalistic. They are not big on plates and cutlery.

With our three burgers and three sharers we ordered, we only got two trays, one plate (for the fries) and three forks (again for the fries).

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Trust me; you do need a fork to eat those things! I think it’s actually wrong to call the dish just “fries”, it’s more an orgy of fries, cheese and chili.

But if you are one of those people who likes to eat their burger all civilized with a knife and fork from a plate, well, then you are in the wrong place. Mind you, that’s not the way a burger should be eaten anyways. Unless it’s a really really fancy restaurant, at which point, why are you ordering a burger there anyway?

Right, back to the burger at hand, so yes, it’s a messy affair.

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But at least there are plenty of kitchen towel rolls to go around.

Alright, so maybe it isn’t the healthiest food you can find in London, with the cheese orgy fries, deep fried pickles, and burgers with dead hippie sauce…

But sometimes that’s ok, like once a year.

Because sometimes you just want something pretentious and quirky, and that’s where the Meat Liquor comes in. Yes it’s pretentious as hell, but in a fun kind of way.

And there is still something else that stands in their favour – the price. We had three sharers/starters, three burgers and cocktails, but even with the tip, the bill came just to twenty quid a head. Not too bad for London, as those burgers are really good… if a little messy.

So a pretty good place to take your vegan date then, don’t you think?

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Do you like quirky pretentious restaurants?

 

P.S: Alright, I promise to review a good vegetarian restaurant also if I can find one that I like, feel free to recommend one

10 Comments

  1. This place looks great, amazing looking food, interesting atmosphere, and very entertaining. The platter with the fries on it looks awesome!
    Mark Wiens recently posted..How to Eat Like a Food Blogger and Stay SlimMy Profile

    • It quite liked the quirky atmosphere; and the food was really good!

  2. What an interesting place! And yes, I like quirky restaurants, even pretentious ones. Sometimes.
    Sophie recently posted..Alicante festivals guideMy Profile

    • Yeah, you don’t want to eat in them all the time, but sometimes they are good fun! :)

  3. I love everything about this place!
    Stephanie – The Travel Chica recently posted..Mountain Biking… For Real!My Profile

  4. That sounds pretty cool, I wish I have read your article a couple of weeks earlier when I was in London. I really would like to give it a try, although my husband is a real beefeater and beer-drinker, I have always preferred the vegetables. This restaurant could be my new favorite, although I find the pig’s head on the wall a little bit disgusting.
    Lara recently posted..Mein neues Liebling: der ungarische VizslaMy Profile

    • hehe, something for next time :)

  5. Wait, so I’m still not sure if I’m on the same page– it says no meat and liquor but it serves beef patty burgers and meat-oriented things or is it vegan meat? The website doesn’t show a menu so you can see if it’s a vegan place.

    Am I missing something?

    Otherwise, it looks like a funky environment but as a vegetarian, I’m not sure if there’d be a second date.
    Christine | Grrrl Traveler recently posted..Photo Essay: What does a street say about its people?… A lot! (Phnom Penh)My Profile

    • Yeah, they say they are “no meat. no liquor”, but they they are definitely very much YES meat. YES liquor! :) As a vegetarian, no, I don’t think there would be a second date :)